morning melancholia

Hello darlings,
these photos were taken on the 1st of January. We woke up tired, outside was grey, cold and uninviting. We were anything but excited about the new year starting, it would be nice to just freeze time the previous night, keep alive the feeling of something new coming. Rather, we woke up to see the same city, same houses, same clouds, to find out that the weight of life we felt the previous year didn't go away. But isn't it always so? I've never met anyone who would change themselves or their lives just because they've reached a certain year or age. Oh, it's 2013, let's do more sports. No.

Only when your habits, mind processes or looks become unbearable to you, when you can't live with them anymore, you gather strength to make a change.

Aren't they lovely, my friends, my dearests?

Sincerely,

Rapunzel

Parapluie

For a moment I thought my heart was healing, sadly it was only a mind trick.

With love,

Pie

Findoftheday: Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison

Two amazing photographers.
They published a book called The Architect's Brother.

More beauty on their official website.

Overflow

Wound

Migration

These Days

It is a strange time of the year. Days are so short I cannot even absorb them properly. It feels like I am watching a film. Things are happening right in front of my eyes but I do not have the strength or ability to change the plot. There is this great void in my heart waiting to be filled with something indifferent, something which would make the unexplainable sorrow and sadness a little bit easier. If only I knew what I am looking for.

My mind is filled with questions and thoughts about this past year, about all the decisions I made, about all the words that were left unsaid, about all the people who came upon my way and about all the things  that never happened even though I wished more than anything they would. I want to find a way out of my mind but the ghosts from my past mercilessly haunt me.

I used to be able to shut the outer world and melancholic thoughts about the unbearable lightness of being out. I buried my self in work, chasing the goal of being the best at something. I honestly thought this was the key to happiness and it actually was for a while but the magic quickly faded and I was left with nothing.Today, I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. I am the wanderer who seeks yet never finds his rest. 

Winter has not been kind to me, to us but there is still some light that never goes out and I choose to believe this is enough.

With love, Pie

+++

Water is filling up the bathtub. I stretch myself, lie down and close my eyes. I hear nothing but the roar of warm fluid spreading around me. Water is already up my ears, chin then mouth and eyes. Soon there is just one breath left until I am finally down.

Some days are worse than others. No matter how I try, I just cannot get myself together. I am afraid of everything and everyone and all I can do is wait for the storm to be over.

With love, Pie