Home is where outside world is not

I recently moved away from my parents to an apartment in the centre of Ljubljana. I decorated and renovated it myself, with the help of family and friends. During hours of painting and scraping off old tiles, during countless cigarettes and long baths it has become very dear to me. Even when it's dirty, when I'm alone, or when moths intrude, I feel safe and hidden here.

morning melancholia

Hello darlings,
these photos were taken on the 1st of January. We woke up tired, outside was grey, cold and uninviting. We were anything but excited about the new year starting, it would be nice to just freeze time the previous night, keep alive the feeling of something new coming. Rather, we woke up to see the same city, same houses, same clouds, to find out that the weight of life we felt the previous year didn't go away. But isn't it always so? I've never met anyone who would change themselves or their lives just because they've reached a certain year or age. Oh, it's 2013, let's do more sports. No.

Only when your habits, mind processes or looks become unbearable to you, when you can't live with them anymore, you gather strength to make a change.

Aren't they lovely, my friends, my dearests?

Sincerely,

Rapunzel

Parapluie

For a moment I thought my heart was healing, sadly it was only a mind trick.

With love,

Pie

New theory

It was more than a year ago, my nineteenth birthday, and I wasn't feeling particularly well. Rapunzel came to my place so I wouldn't be alone. We sprinkled our lips with golden glitters and wrapped our bodies in fur. We took photos with my plastic camera and pretended we were models. I remember we talked about our lives and the future long into the night.

"We should start a band." I said to her a couple of days ago. I think we could do amazing things together.

With love,

Pie

Strange Sensation

An excerpt from a letter I sent recently:

"I don't want to use too many big words when describing my feelings towards you. Maybe it's because they're over-used and it makes them seem less true, or perhaps I just don't want to repeat myself.

What I feel is strange and in a way unfamiliar to me. I guess I can call it love. It's not a crush, it's not a fragment of my imagination, it's not something I would hope for or strive towards, I'm not trying to emphasise it in my mind. It's just there, in me, in you, between us, in my phone, my mailbox, my sheets, my apartment. But still it feels as if it comes from the outside, not from my heart or brain or any other part of me. It is something that moved in my body during our time spent together and has no plans on leaving soon. 

As if it were physical sensation, not just a mind trick."

Jarek Puczel

in my apartment, photographed by Pie

Yours,
Rapunzel

These Days

It is a strange time of the year. Days are so short I cannot even absorb them properly. It feels like I am watching a film. Things are happening right in front of my eyes but I do not have the strength or ability to change the plot. There is this great void in my heart waiting to be filled with something indifferent, something which would make the unexplainable sorrow and sadness a little bit easier. If only I knew what I am looking for.

My mind is filled with questions and thoughts about this past year, about all the decisions I made, about all the words that were left unsaid, about all the people who came upon my way and about all the things  that never happened even though I wished more than anything they would. I want to find a way out of my mind but the ghosts from my past mercilessly haunt me.

I used to be able to shut the outer world and melancholic thoughts about the unbearable lightness of being out. I buried my self in work, chasing the goal of being the best at something. I honestly thought this was the key to happiness and it actually was for a while but the magic quickly faded and I was left with nothing.Today, I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. I am the wanderer who seeks yet never finds his rest. 

Winter has not been kind to me, to us but there is still some light that never goes out and I choose to believe this is enough.

With love, Pie

City With No Children

Photowalk in Kamnik, my hometown. Revisiting places from my past, places long lost in my memory.

Secret corners where we used to play hide and seek, abandoned factory which we never dared to enter,

a statue in front of my school in which we threw snowballs every winter, a vast field of wheat, which is gone now...

Places seemed so different, so sad and wistful, as all who used to find their magic kingdoms there were gone forever.

With Love,

Pie.

+++

Water is filling up the bathtub. I stretch myself, lie down and close my eyes. I hear nothing but the roar of warm fluid spreading around me. Water is already up my ears, chin then mouth and eyes. Soon there is just one breath left until I am finally down.

Some days are worse than others. No matter how I try, I just cannot get myself together. I am afraid of everything and everyone and all I can do is wait for the storm to be over.

With love, Pie

Out of the bubble

In the last few weeks, so many things have changed. Highschool was safe, known, comfortable. Holidays were fabulous. Uni is none of that.

I don’t like college life very much. You meet new people and you have coffees and lunches with them and you smalltalk until you’re tired of pointless conversations and just want to go home. And I am not even enjoying wearing violet fur or going over the top with accessories, because that makes you feel like an outcast, not fabulous at all, as there is no one there to appreciate it. Most of medicine students wear ugly sweaters from year '02 and sport shoes.

We do however, appreciate old friends even more now, and when we’re not educating, let it be economy or anatomy, we’re trying to maintain sanity by doing stuff that we like, say

...lunches with old friends

white girls eating salads and a blue boy, in a restaurant in Ljubljana

...photography... I found my grandfather's Zorki-4 a while ago, but am still learning how to use it. As it doesn't have a light meter, and I don't have any knowledge of photography, most of the photos are blurry, underexposed, or not there at all. But I'm having lots of fun with it!

Ljubljana, centre ville

...dreamy songs... This one really fits my mood lately

...having a fur-and-dark-lipstick-wearing alter ego at night... oh yes, we are still Rapunzel&Pie, and fabulous too!

We recently attended a fashion show with a slovenian fashion blogger Eva Ana, who took the photo below. For more, check out her blog, all around eve.

Vintage fur coats, bought in Berlin for 7€ <3

Who needs uni anyway??

Vibes from the past

We are going to uni for the first time on Monday and a new era of our lives is about to begin. I like beginnings because they give you hope, excitement and motivation. Suddenly, you are found in a different situation, surrounded by new people in a new place. And this is good. But on the other hand, beginnings are also the final end of something. It is like saying goodbye to everything and everyone you knew before, because undoubtedly you are going to change and so will they. Which makes me sad a little bit. Just like Holden, the troubled teenager from The Catcher in the Rye, I would sometimes like to put certain things in big glass cases so that they would just stay the way they are. Ah. The lovely nostalgia.
 
Radical Face- All is well (Goodbye, goodbye). Sad, but beautiful.

 

A Swan. By Rapunzel with DianaMini.

John William Waterhouse- The Lady of Shalott. Gotta love the colours and her facial expression.

Vinna Laudico- Little Girl Blue. Fashion story with a dreamy atmosphere. Tiara, puppet and flowers.

Identity crisis

We are back, folks! For the last three weeks, we were enjoying ourselves on the atlantic coast of France, where we were eagerly trying to catch some waves on our brand new surfboards, which were in our possession for exactly two weeks and then some bastards stole them. But this is another story. 

Today, however, I have a point to make. On the 21st of January 2011 Rapunzel and I were in a library braging about how we never actually realise our amazing plans and we decided that it was time to change that. And we did it by creating this fabulous blog. I don't quite remember how we chose the name of it, but I think it was a matter of 5 minutes.

Flying Indie Piglets. At the time we were really into this whole hipster/indie scene because we've just came from London with DianaMini and I was definitely influenced by Kitsune Maison compilations with their indie-electro-pop music which makes you feel like going to space with your cat and then there was K4- the only half-decent club in Ljubljana where cool electro music is played and its indie-overload clientele. And sweaters, of course! Vintage oversized sweaters with navajo-like pattern which were so convenient to put over skinny jeans with headphones around the neck. That is basically why we though that the adjective ''indie'' is so perfect for the name of our blog. Now, things have changed.

Or maybe it's better to say that we have changed. I don't really know what happened. I blame it on the summer, because we saw new places and met some great people who made us question and think about well...everything. And lately, we came to conclusion that we might have outgrown our bloggie name. It's not that we don't like indie related stuff anymore, because we definitely do. Glitters, space, abandoned circuses, indie-pop, lomography, neon nails, glow in the dark sticks..it's all still in the game! It's just  that the adjective ''indie'' somehow doesn't feel right anymore, because labeling is the last thing we need. We just want a name that will still be true for us even in 5 years time. We need a name that will suit future med and law students who will try their best not to fall into the-ugly-clothes-and-greasy-hair routine while spending their youth behind the books. We need a name that will be just as groovy as we are and nothing less.

Basically we are going trough rough times at the moment. Our blog needs a refreshment that will help us move this whole blogging thing into the right direction. Because at the moment we are kind of stuck somewhere we don't want to be and we just wish to develop our blog into something we will be proud of.

Berlin photos

For the last Berlin-related post, here are some random photos from the nights & days spent in the fabulous city. Some of them were taken with Diana and some with a normal digital camera.

So long, Berlin, so long, friends! Until next time...

Rapunzel and Maxim at Picknick club garden

Maxim and Pie with stars in their eyes

Peter rowing, Schlachtensee

chilling in Mauerpark on Sunday
eating 35cents Ja! Schokolade

Taken in a photobooth next to school. Love it!

Party in our flat with Max & Nick, das schönste Paar!

A night about-town

oh they were SO excited!

Holocaust memorial - very impressive

we did see some Sehenswürdigkeiten as well!
Bundestag zum Beispiel.

Boysboysboys!

cycling around Berlin, sehr schön

Having some wine in Tiergarten

Picknick Soundcloud party - probably the best night...

...the party went on until 8 am

Our last morning, before a hectic trip to the
Hauptbahnhof.