27.12.12

These Days

It is a strange time of the year. Days are so short I cannot even absorb them properly. It feels like I am watching a film. Things are happening right in front of my eyes but I do not have the strength or ability to change the plot. There is this great void in my heart waiting to be filled with something indifferent, something which would make the unexplainable sorrow and sadness a little bit easier. If only I knew what I am looking for.

My mind is filled with questions and thoughts about this past year, about all the decisions I made, about all the words that were left unsaid, about all the people who came upon my way and about all the things  that never happened even though I wished more than anything they would. I want to find a way out of my mind but the ghosts from my past mercilessly haunt me.

I used to be able to shut the outer world and melancholic thoughts about the unbearable lightness of being out. I buried my self in work, chasing the goal of being the best at something. I honestly thought this was the key to happiness and it actually was for a while but the magic quickly faded and I was left with nothing.Today, I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. I am the wanderer who seeks yet never finds his rest. 

Winter has not been kind to me, to us but there is still some light that never goes out and I choose to believe this is enough.



With love, Pie

6 comments:

  1. Oh, winter. The vibe of post is so grey, it's actually quite beautiful.

    This very well describes what i am feeling too. However i wish i didn't say or write some things i did.

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    1. I know what you feel. I often look back on my past actions with regret, although I know how futile is this. "We cannot change our past, we should learn from it and make better decisions in the future" is what people often say and I agree, but sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. It is there and it stretches its arms to your present. Now and again I wonder if time eventually really does heal every wound.

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  2. We are at the same place in our minds right now.. feels awful!
    Keep positive!

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    Replies
    1. Zimska žalost v razcvetu. Mogoče bo pomlad prinesla svetlejše misli.

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  3. Oh wow this reflects perfectly how I am feeling at the moment too. And such beautiful photographs, they are so unforgivably melancholic in the most wonderful way x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Sometimes life itself really becomes overwhelming and there is nothing we can quite do about it. Still, I want to believe that shadows eventually disappear, they have to.

      xx Pie

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Best friends who are quite bored all the time and whose greatness and awesomeness is being ignored by society. Besides that, they love glittery makeup, things that shine in the dark or randomly fly in space, analogue photography, kitsune maison compilations, cats, dogs, and of course, alpacas. C'est ça.
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